Pirate Jokes

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns telling about their adventures on the seas. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.

The sailor asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies: "We were in a storm at sea, and I were swept overboard headed for Davy Jones' Locker. Just as me men were pullin' me out, a shark bit me leg off."

"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

The pirate went on, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut me hand off.”

"Incredible!" said the sailor. "And how did you get the eye patch?"

“Arrr. That were from a seagull dropping fell into me bloody eye,” replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Shiver me timbers!" said the pirate. "It was me first day with the hook..."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck down his pants.
The bartender says "There’s a steering wheel down your pants!"
To which the pirate responded, “ Yo-ho-ho, and it be drivin’ me nuts.”
Ahoy, me hearty! My pirate name is:
Iron Mary Roberts
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